


From Eden

by CEGriffin



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, Bellamy PoV, F/M, POV Clarke, Spoilers, after season 2, all just Angst, post 2x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEGriffin/pseuds/CEGriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One week. One whole goddamn week of being asked where’s Clarke? Why did she go? Where did she go? Why didn’t you make her stay? What do we do now? The truth Bellamy knew was that he didn’t know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean for this to happen but i had so many feels after the season finale and they bubbled over!   
> No real plot just Bellamy thoughts and a bit of action. Not sure if this will turn into a muti- chapter thing or not. We'll see.   
> Hope you like and is not too boring.  
> title form song by Hozier- From Eden. (liking this song and the idea i had was more that camp Jaha is eden and Clarke left etc.)

One week. One whole goddamn week of being asked _where’s Clarke? Why did she go? Where did she go? Why didn’t you make her stay? What do we do now?_ The truth Bellamy knew was that he didn’t know.  And he didn’t honesty care about ‘what to do now,’ at least he didn’t want to care. But his promise, that stupid promise to his princess forced him to stay, to try and take care of them for her until she came back. Because she would come back, she would never, could never leave them, not forever. Could she?

Every since she had left the one thought that had occupied his mind was _he should have made her stay._ He knew what she truly needed. She needed someone, too many people had left her and all she really needed was for someone not to leave her, not ever. He knew that should be him but it took him this long to realize it. Each night he lay awake trying to figure it out until it screamed at him that morning. SHE NEEDS YOU!

 

That was when he had started packing.

An extra top, trousers and underwear was all he really needed but he sneaked some food and water from the supply rooms on the ark just in case Clarke wasn’t doing well on her own. On second thought he also grabbed some bandages and medicine labelled ‘antibiotics’ from the med bay. That was it, and as he finished packing in his tent he racked his brain for anything else.

 

That was how Octavia found him; sitting solemnly next to a full bag on his makeshift bed in his tent.

“You’re going to find her.” It wasn’t a question she was stating it.

“Yes,” Bellamy looked up to her cold face that appeared when ever Clarke was mentioned, “You can’t stop me.” His voice though quiet spoke with the authority that had once made their whole camp tremble from its strength.

“I wasn’t going to.” Bellamy was not expecting that, “This is what you feel you have to do, you and Clarke are a team and she left you. You have to find her, she’s your other half.” O said this kindly though her face barely softened. “I understand this Bellamy, but think about it. You might not be able to find her, or she might not want you there.”

“I know O, but like you said we’re a team, she’s my other half and as much as my previous self would’ve hated to admit, I can’t live without her. Especially after what we did. We did it together! TOGETHER!” his voice filled with the emotion that had been building in him for days, “I too need sometime to deal with this! I mean, I’ve already been responsible for 300 deaths and now this. It’s too much. Too much.” He whispered now, “Too much blood.”

“I know bell. Go then.” Octavia moved to hug her brother and feeling his trembling hands she then placed her small knife and sheath in them. “Take this, you’ll need it.”

“Thanks O.” Bellamy attached the sheath to himself, kissed Octavia’s forehead and left.

 

As he made his way down to the gate, he saw Jasper turn his head away from him. One of the hardest parts of this _had_ been losing Jasper but he knew it was harder for Monty. Speaking of which, Monty was walking up to him.

“You’re leaving.”

“Yes.”

“Make sure she’s ok.”

“I will” Bellamy nodded knowing that this promise he could keep.

“Come back.”

“I will” He would force Clarke back if he had too. He had come back with her, and now she was going to for him. Bellamy didn’t care how much time she might need, he would give it to her and to himself, but they had to come back.

He embraced Monty in a quick hug and then as he stepped back, yelled

“OPEN THE GATE”

As it open Bellamy could almost see Clarke still walking away from him and so this time he followed.

 

 


	2. Angel of small death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up with the sun Clarke slowly started to move. With quiet movements she eventually sat up and got to work. She finished her large kill from last night and then she simple left the site and started to walk. Following the sun she walked with just her thoughts.
> 
> It had been a week since she left she thought judging by the ache in her heart. It seemed to intensify with time and distance as if the further she walked away from Camp Jaha the harder it was to do just so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda got away from me. I had so many feels and i tried to put them all in while still making sense.  
> This is Clarke POV after a week and then more. It does get to bellamy in this please bare with me!!  
> Hope it's not to angsty!!  
> and makes sense.

Waking up with the sun Clarke slowly started to move. With quiet movements she eventually sat up and got to work. She finished her large kill from last night and then she simple left the site and started to walk. Following the sun she walked with just her thoughts.

It had been a week since she left she thought judging by the ache in her heart. It seemed to intensify with time and distance as if the further she walked away from Camp Jaha the harder it was to do just so.

In that moment Bellamy had given her forgiveness she had truly thought about staying, the look in his eyes had been the one thing holding her there but as she had looked back to the Camp and seen the survivors she couldn’t and at that moment her heart ripped softly but painfully in two. The other half she was sure was not just at camp Jaha it was in Bellamy’s hands. She had willingly given it to him.

 

Her walk was taking her past a beautiful meadow that glowed with the days sun, which was now at it’s fullest, Clarke realised. The meadow was the perfect place for what she wanted to do but she wasn’t quite ready for it. So she walked a few minutes from it to another small clearing where she made camp.

The next few days were just the same but this time she repeatedly came back to the same Camp at night and to the meadow. She learnt the route and she explored the surrounding area too. Within 5 days it was starting to feel like a home, but honestly Clarke didn’t have a home and she settled on leaving this place in 2 days.

She didn’t feel any less heavy as she had after leaving Camp Jaha and that needed to stop. She needed to get away from the neverending list of names in her head.

 

So on the 14th day of her leaving camp Jaha she prepared to try.

First she had to eat though.

 

She gutted her kill and then skinned it. The bird that was not that big had some good meat on it so she stuck the spit through it and placed it over the red-hot fire. She could feel the heat coming off it and so her hands were naturally attracted to it also.

Clarke sat there warming her hands staring into the fire, just letting the fire hypnotise her with its large flickers and small sparks. A sizzling coming from the bird woke her up and out of the fire it came as it was ready. Clarke let it cool just for a bit and then she ripped into it enjoying the taste so much she may have even smiled for the first time since…. Well she honestly couldn’t remember how long it had been since she _had_ smiled. The feeling almost felt odd to her, her muscles not knowing the feeling making it seem foreign to her face. She dropped the smile after a while reflecting on the relief in her cheeks and then as she continued to eat, she smiled again. In a seemingly random rhythm Clarke smiled and then frowned over and over again, to someone watching her it must have looked as odd as it felt to Clarke.

Smiling had once seemed so natural to her but so had idea she would die on the ark. Never once had she even considered the actual possibility of coming to the ground. Of course she had dreamed, she had dreamed big. She dreamed of the water; falling from the sky and in pools on the ground, she had dreamed of sunsets blazing across the horizon giving a last light to the day, the sunrise also featured in her dreams, breaking the darkness with streaks and sparks of a quiet light then streaming in as if a gate had been opened allowing the sun to fully rise again. The trees, grass, animals and everything had been in her dreams but had not been within reach. But that had been fine, Clarke had been happy with that. That was the way the humans would survive.

 _O how things have changed_ thought Clarke darkly.

Not only had she come to Earth! She had been able to experience it all and more but Clarke would forfeit all that if it meant all the bad things she had done were gone too. She would bring back all those lives she had taken and those taken from her if she could, she would do all she could and more to do so. But once again she dreamed of the impossible, and this time it truly was just that, that was why she dreamed it.

She finished the meat and threw the bones far from her camp or Camp purgatory as she called it sometimes to the animals. Then she set about the task that she had been putting off until this night, the full moon shone bright down on her giving the light she needed but not enough to blind her.

She set off for the few minute trek to the place.

The only possession she had was a gun. The gun she had killed Dante Wallace with, the same gun she was going to use to bury her guilt tonight.

 

The walk back was quiet and short, the rhythmic thud of her boots against the stone and mud declared her as the sole human in this part of the wood. Camp Jaha was many miles from her place but she couldn’t know how far exactly as her route had not been straight. Twists and turns had taken her left and right, forward and maybe even backward. Beauty and pain had made her turn even from the sun.

In her time on the earth she had started out as a bright light but the longer she had been down here the more her light had dimmed and as the weight of her actions got heavier her light eventually went out. There had been nothing but saving her people to think of and in doing so her light had gone to a seeping hole of darkness bleeding through the rest of her humanity. So she had followed the only truly light thing, the sun. She followed it to the west in the hope of trying to find her light again. But once it had set she hadn’t known where to go so she stopped also.

Her days from then on had simply followed the sun, when she woke up, when she slept and her activity in-between. In the morning she would lay for minutes just to get the strength to get up and by midday she would be moving with an obvious energy, then as afternoon creped in her movements would slow and the last thing she would do would be eat then lie down and sleep just as the sun disappeared.

This was the first time she had been up after dark since the longest walk of Clarke’s life. The walk from mount weather to camp Jaha had been continued darkness and now she didn’t want it anymore. She wanted the light of the sun but she didn’t know how to get it.

This was the start of her journey to get it though.

 

The gun was empty and she wanted to bury it in homage to all those slaughtered and all those murdered, all those tortured and all those gone. Everyone deals with death differently and Clarke’s had been to bear al the guilt. This was the beginning of the end of the tunnel, she wanted to see the light again and this was the only way she could conceive how.

 

The meadow was startling in its beauty, even more so then each day Clarke had visited. Clarke stopped just before the tree line ended not daring to unsettle the tranquility. She had began to notice the beauty in this world more and more so since leaving Camp Jaha and she admired it for a second, tilting her head a little as she was reminded of the beauty on the ark also. Wells had been one to point it out always.

The first _she_ had lost, not the last. Her heart burnt for her best friend, it felt like it was being ripped from its place already at the memory of him but she had to do this. She had to bury the gun. Then she could move on.

 

“ **Clarke** ”

She turned with a sudden gasp dropping the gun to stare at the wide faced freckled breathless man that stared back at her.

“Bellamy?” she squeezed out.

“I found you, I knew I would.” He looked around smiling at their surroundings then at her.

“W-what are you doing here?” She stuttered.

“I came to find you” He shrugged like it was nothing.

“But I-you promised to take care of them, for me. You promised.” Clarke wanted to run to him but she didn’t, he had lied to her.

“I tired Clare, but they-I couldn’t.”

Clarke, furious at him, turned her back and strode off into the meadow ignoring his calls after her.

“Clarke please what’s wrong?” He ran to catch up with her and grabbed her arm to turn her around. She ripped it from him.

“You didn’t do what you promised, you lied. You betrayed me, Bellamy. The one person I thought would never do that to me has now done just so. I don’t want to see you again.”

“Clarke listen. I didn’t betray you, I would never, and you know that. Let me explain.”

She didn’t want to hear it but as she was had nowhere to go she stayed but looked straight into his eyes as if daring him to deny it.

“What you asked me to do was simply impossible. They don’t want to be taken care of. They too have gone through so much, they have done so much to be alive, just as we have. Anyway I’m not their leader Clarke, you are. They need you, not me. And I need you. I _need_ you. Just you. You and all the broken pieces too. Clarke listen to me, we are two parts of one. It’s us. Us against the world. And you can’t just leave. You can’t leave me. I didn’t leave you remember! I stayed for you. I went into mount weather for you. I was tortured to save out people but I did it willingly for you, for all of this” His arms gestured the woods around them. “You can’t leave me, and I can’t leave you.”

 

Clarke stood there stock still at this man in front of her who had just spoke the most sense she had heard since she first started to reason with the grounders. _Love was not a weakness, ruthlessness was not the answer, running away from Camp was not either. Bellamy was._

 

But it was still all too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title- from Hozier again. Kinda in love with his album right now!   
> Also i have ideas for a few more chapters so watch out, this is going to be an outlet for me over the next few weeks of exams!!


End file.
